I think it was early 1960's when I thought the blue uniforms were sharp. So I joined up, conning Mom into becoming a Den Mother. For this small action, I still do penance....

One of the first projects we had to do was make a little desk out of match boxes, three to a side, with a cardboard desktop and green felt glued to the top. Each match box had a brass paper hole spread pin which you put into each box to give it a handle so that the desk drawer would pull out. As I recall the incident, although others may remember differently, some fool left the matches in his desk and they somehow caught fire. Since all our desks were together, it was soon apparent that they were going to be destroyed. (Safety first - don't play with matches). Well, this called for drastic action and I knew that if they were not all bunched up, we could save them. So while level heads were running for water, I took the hand axe and gave the pile a mighty whack...which, as you might guess threw burning items all over the kitchen. Mom prevailed and put the little fires out, I think dipping me in a bucket of water and mopping the whole floor with me if I recall, but perhaps not.

This led to the famous soap carving contest....All scouts had to carve a bar of soap into a recognizable animal. All THIS for some little badge. Well, using the Official Cub Scout knife that had two blades, dull and duller, I went to work. I first tried to sharpen the knife from hell, with whetstone, spit, oil, grinding on the cement and finally out to Dad's shed and the grinder. That two inch blade was about a 1/4 inch long, but what a scalpel...I cut into that bar of soap, I still think the soap was made from camel fat. Fast and furious the soap flew, and the inevitable; ." Always cut away from the body, never, never towards yourself" Who knows best, some guy who wrote a Scout handbook or the Super Cub? Well it was the guy who wrote the book. I cut across the fleshy part of my palm, and sang out with language fouler than any drunken sailor. The result? My soap animal found a home in my mouth on the way to the clinic! Den Mothers are worse when they are your own Mother also. No sympathy...

BUT, still undaunted we began to prepare for the Great Official Soap Box Derby was coming up. We had to build these things to all kinds of specs and you would think we were dishonest scouts the way that we were examined. However, with a little skill, we found wheels off of red wagons, mostly late at night in neighbor's yards - honestly, we were going to return them. Then using rebar and a block of wood we built a steering bar, put wheels on it and with ropes to pull the bar from side to side, decided to try it out the day before on "H" street hill (Photo in Home page).

We knew we needed to add some hidden weight so (and I can't recall who's bright idea this was) we loaded concrete blocks in the front and put cardboard across it so they wouldn't be visible, then went to try it out.

At the top of the hill, all's quiet on the western front, so in I go and they pull out the chocks holding the wheel. Evidently the law of gravity was a stranger to me as this thing quickly outdid muscle cars and was down the hill in a flash...Somehow the rear wheels came off and the hard cardboard floor was on the ground, not any help at all doing sub-sonic speed straight towards 6th street and the cardboard tearing all apart. I, hanging on for dear life, soon found my butt as the floor and now firmly understand the principle of skid marks. It was several hundred feet until I turned, went into a hedge, and blew up. The hedge was prickly, of course, and I had a shredded uniform, one blazing butt, a soapy mouth still and a really bad hair day...

I did make Bear though Mom says I got it for having the hide of a Bear and, and that the word "Bare" would always have special meaning to my asphalt burnt butt. Right thru my clothes and all! Gravel to this day pops up....

Motto: " Be prepared", and play fair. Or, take a risk and have a permanently burnt tail gear.....

Michael Crocker(DH 65)
Nacogdoches, Texas

" Of the Brats, To the Brats, For the Brats"
Date: Tue, 28 May 1996 14:08:00 -0500