It was humid, and the night was so, so long. I knew that some reflections might help, but the thought of the dawn and the method of execution was overwhelming.

Yes, I had done the crime, but they tried me as an adult, although I was only 17. It was a sentence of death and I knew in my heart I would never look at the sunlight this way again. My appeals fell on deaf ears, rejected by all. My pleas for mercy were to no avail.

The Warden was female and even though I thought she took pity, there was a sternness in her eyes which told me she would carry out her job. She told me that the pain was brief, and that I would be released into a new life.

They had made me get a haircut and I had even gone to Mass where the Priest heard my confession. I told him all I had done that I could remember. The hurt and the pain I had caused so many. I tried to justify the bad with the good I might have done and asked repeatedly for a reprieve. All I wanted was one last chance. The ruling came down, an hour before sunrise. The final plea had been rejected.

Tears whelmed up in my eyes, I had been allowed to see my so sweet love just for a fleeting moment, knowing I was seeing her for the last time. Our lips had brushed, but there was no time left.

The Warden brought my last meal, eggs, and sausage and a glass of orange juice. She told me to be brave, but the ache in my heart and the weakness of my knees told another story. I had to go to the bathroom and yet, I didn't. Fear was rampant thoughout the room. Worse, just a hint of sunlight was starting to creep over the top of the brick wall and I knew it was close.

I was led out, they even packed up my pitiful belongings and carried them out. Down the hall out the door and into the vehicle, with the warden and her staff to be taken to the place of execution. Another building away from all the rest. We passed by barbed wire fences and erie silence.

Suddenly we were there. I was passed on to others, who weren't so caring. Quickly they led me into a room that could be pressurized and sat me down. The straped me in and within minutes I felt the floor tremble as the generators turned over. The lights blinked once and as I looked around, fear, panic, and terrible loneliness drowned me. I looked through the glass and could see the members of my family who had come to say goodbye. There was my Mother, tears running down her face. My Father, stoic as ever, and many others I did not know.

Suddenly, there was an erie silence, I felt my straps tighten against my body. The light was blazing in from the window and the pressure was almost pushing me back into the seat. The tears in my eyes were blurring all sight and the crushing pain in my heart told me it was almost over.

I looked one last time, feeling the bursts of emotion surging thru me and causing me pain, and out the glass I saw, for the last time before my vision failed, all the people and places I had loved so very dearly disappearing behind me. I could barely blurt out "Goodbye" when I was gone.....

I will never be able to explain it any other way, This was my last trip to my home and as the plane rose from the desert floor, I lost my heart knowing I was leaving my beloved Arabia for the last time as a returning student. Truly an execution.......

From: Mike Crocker (DH 65)